In my last post, quite a while back, I spoke about Jack Canfield’s rule number one, of taking 100% responsibility for your life. I wrestled with that principle for a long time. I could not understand how I was responsible for having an accident, or having someone I loved die. There’s, however, a second part to this principle E+R=O. This part is easier to understand. We cannot control events but our response to the events we experience determines the outcome for us.
The other day I was busy emptying out loose change from a jar where we keep it. What can you do with loose change? A lot, if you keep putting into the jar. Our perception of wealth is a little askew. A bill for a hundred dollars seems huge to a poor person but a wealthy one will give it as tip. What does this mean, in relation to the principle? If you keep putting coins in the jar one day there will be more than hundred, maybe a few of them. Why bother with loose change? Because not everyone can give hundred dollar bills as tips.
There’s not a problem with the change or the bills. The issue is perception. We think of ourselves as lacking when all we have is change, but we are alive and with greater or lesser health. I lost my mother two and a half years ago. I’d give anything to have her back. But my wish is one beyond my power. I want to kiss her paper soft hand, as it was at the end. But she’s now somewhere else, where I cannot go right now.
That’s a sobering reality. I can react with anger, denial, self-loathing, but that won’t change the outcome that I cannot bring her back. I miss her terribly. She was my companion, my friend, But I am human. I cannot control life and death. I remember her everyday and think of our times together, all of them. The hundred dollar bill can buy me a meal at an expensive restaurant, but cannot restore my loss. That’s why looking for change is important. We need to keep the jar full.